As per Relevance of the word failures, we have this rfc below:
Network Working Group B.
Request for Comments: 1882 Network-1 Software and Technology, Inc
Category: Informational December 1995
The 12-Days of Technology Before
Status of this
This memo provides information for the Internet community. This
does not specify an Internet standard of any kind. Distribution
this memo is unlimited
On the first day of Christmas, technology gave to me
A database with a broken b-tree (what the hell is a b-
anyway?)
On the second day of Christmas, technology gave to me
Two transceiver failures (CRC errors? Collisions? What
going on?)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Rebuild WHAT? It's
10GB database!)
On the third day of Christmas, technology gave to me
Three French users (who, of course, think they
everything
Two transceiver failures (which are now spewing packets
over the net
And a database with a broken b-tree (Backup? What backup?)
On the fourth day of Christmas, technology gave to me
Four calls for support (playing the same Christmas song
and over
Three French users (Why do they like to argue so much
trivial things?)
Two transceiver failures (How the hell do I know which
they are?)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Pointer error? What's
pointer error?)
Hancock Informational [Page 1]
RFC 1882 12-Days of Technology Before Christmas December 1995
On the fifth day of Christmas, technology gave to me
Five golden SCSI contacts (Of course they're better
silver!)
Four support calls (Ever notice how time stands still when
hold
Three French users (No, we don't have footpedals on PC's.
do you ask?)
Two transceiver failures (If I knew which ones were bad,
would know which ones to fix!)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Not till next week?
you nuts?!?!)
On the sixth day of Christmas, technology gave to me
Six games a-playing (On the production network, of course!)
Five golden SCSI contacts (What do you mean "not terminated!")
Four support calls (No, don't transfer me again - do you HEAR
Damn!)
Three French users (No, you cannot scan in by putting the
to the screen...)
Two transceiver failures (I can't look at the LEDs - they'
in the ceiling!)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Norway? That's where
was written?)
On the seventh day of Christmas, technology gave to me
Seven license failures (Expired? When?)
Six games a-playing (Please stop tying up the PBX to talk
each other!)
Five golden SCSI contacts (What do you mean I need "wide
SCSI?)
Four support calls (At least the Muzak is different
time...)
Three French Users (Well, monsieur, there really isn't
"any" key, but...)
Two transceiver failures (SQE? What is that? If I knew I
set it myself!)
And a database with a broken b-tree (No, I really need to
to Lars - NOW!)
Hancock Informational [Page 2]
RFC 1882 12-Days of Technology Before Christmas December 1995
On the eighth day of Christmas, technology gave to me
Eight MODEMs dialing (Who bought these? They're a
violation!)
Seven license failures (How many WEEKS to get a license?)
Six games a-playing (What do you mean one pixel per packet
updates?!?)
Five golden SCSI contacts (Fast SCSI? It's supposed to
fast, isn't it?)
Four support calls (I already told them that! Don't
me back - DAMN!)
Three French users (No, CTL-ALT-DEL is not the proper way
end a program
Two transceiver failures (What do you mean "
transceiver"?)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Does anyone speak
in Oslo?)
On the ninth day of Christmas, technology gave to me
Nine lady executives with attitude (She said do WHAT with
servers?)
Eight MODEMs dialing (You've been downloading WHAT?)
Seven license failures (We sent the P.O. two months ago!)
Six games a-playing (HOW many people are doing this to
network?)
Five golden SCSI contacts (What do you mean two have the
ID?)
Four support calls (No, I am not at the console - I tried
already.)
Three French users (No, only one floppy fits at a time? Why
you ask?)
Two transceiver failures (Spare? What spare?)
And a database with a broken b-tree (No, I am trying to
Lars! L-A-R-S!)
Hancock Informational [Page 3]
RFC 1882 12-Days of Technology Before Christmas December 1995
On the tenth day of Christmas, technology gave to me
Ten SNMP alerts flashing (What is that Godawful beeping?)
Nine lady executives with attitude (No, it used to be a
room? Why?)
Eight MODEMs dialing (What Internet provider? We don't
Internet here!)
Seven license failures (SPA? Why are they calling us?)
Six games a-playing (No, you don't need a graphics
for Lotus! )
Five golden SCSI contacts (You mean I need ANOTHER cable?)
Four support calls (No, I never needed an account
before...)
Three French users (When the PC sounds like a cat, it's a
crash!)
Two transceiver failures (Power connection? What
connection?)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Restore what
pointers?)
On the eleventh day of Christmas, technology gave to me
Eleven boards a-frying (What is that terrible smell?)
Ten SNMP alerts flashing (What's a MIB, anyway? What's
extension?)
Nine lady executives with attitude (Mauve? Our computer
tiles in mauve?)
Eight MODEMs dialing (What do you mean you let your
dial-in?)
Seven license failures (How many other illegal copies do
have?!?!)
Six games a-playing (I told you - AFTER HOURS!)
Five golden SCSI contacts (If I knew what was wrong,
wouldn't be calling!)
Four support calls (Put me on hold again and I will slash
credit rating!)
Three French users (Don't hang your floppies with a
again!)
Two transceiver failures (How should I know if the
is bad?)
And a database with a broken b-tree (I already did all
that!)
Hancock Informational [Page 4]
RFC 1882 12-Days of Technology Before Christmas December 1995
On the twelfth day of Christmas, technology gave to me
Twelve virtual pipe connections (There's only supposed to
two!)
Eleven boards a-frying (What a surge suppressor supposed
do, anyway?)
Ten SNMP alerts flashing (From a distance, it does kinda
like XMas lights.)
Nine lady executives with attitude (What do you mean
before backups?)
Eight MODEMs dialing (No, we never use them to connect
business hours.)
Seven license failures (We're all going to jail, I just
it.)
Six games a-playing (No, no - my turn, my turn!)
Five golden SCSI contacts (Great, just great! Now it won'
even boot!)
Four support calls (I don't have that package! How did I
up with you!)
Three French users (I don't care if it is sexy, no more
screen backgrounds!)
Two transceiver failures (Maybe we should switch to
ring...)
And a database with a broken b-tree (No, operator - Oslo
Norway. We were just talking and were cut off...)
Security
Security issues are not discussed in this memo
Author's
Bill Hancock, Ph.D
Network-1 Software & Technology, Inc
DFW Research
878 Greenview Dr
Grand Prairie, TX 75050
EMail: hancock@network-1.
Phone: (214) 606-8200
Fax: (214) 606-8220
Hancock Informational [Page 5]
if you see any problems within the linking, don't worry be happy,
this is version 0.1 of the Relevance System and you gotta expect some crappy subroutines sometimes,
just be content we did not write this in Java, which would have made this "bigger and better" HAHAHHA.
RFC documents can be found at I.E.T.F.
Relevance System Copyright © 2002 Spectrum WorldResearch
other technical nosh by ServerMasters Corporation
collaboration of BobX
